How can you stand out from the crowd when it comes to selling? What are the key ingredients for success?

I understand the logic of ABC (always be closing) in sales. But this phrase may no longer be what we need to keep up in the marketplace. Therefore, I would like to change the ABC of sales to always be connecting.

Your ability to connect will determine your level of success. For example, the ability of managers to connect with their team is pivotal for the success of their company. Staff don’t want to be sold to; they want their managers to connect with them. Imagine the impact on teams if every manager made it a priority to always be connecting. This would increase productivity and profits.

Similarly, when it comes to sales, no one wants to be sold to. However, we all like to make connections. We prefer to buy something that will help us from someone we trust. The more you connect with your network, the greater your impact will be. But you can’t just send out marketing messages to our network; rather, you need to learn the fine art of connecting.

Here are three principles I share with those in sales:

#1. Be Interested, Not Interesting

The best way to have people connect with you is for you to connect with them first. Forget yourself; focus on the other person. Be genuinely interested in him. Ask him questions. We all like to talk about ourselves; therefore, let him speak. Resist the temptation of trying to impress the other person; he doesn’t need to know all about your successes.

#2. Listen

Listening is a learnable skill, but it takes time and effort. We all want to be heard; therefore, if you are to become a master at connecting, you must learn to listen at a whole new level.

What do I mean by this? Often people listen, but they are listening for a gap in what is being said so they can speak next. In fact, even before the other person has finished talking, they’ve stopped listening and are preparing their answer!

Let me share one practical thing I do to show that I've listened. At the end of a conversation or in a follow-up email, I share something along the lines of, "I really enjoyed hearing from you," or "I really enjoyed hearing your story." This is something powerful and confirming.

#3. Be Helpful

Your ability to help others will determine how many people use your service. In such a crowded marketplace, it is easy to understand why people can get confused when making choices. There is no better time than now to be seen as a person of influence and authority, one who can help others with their buying decisions.

As you connect with others, they will connect with you. Go first. Be genuinely interested in them instead of just being interesting. Listen to what they say, hear their needs, and then provide them with a helpful solution that only you can provide for them.

If you’re interested in learning more about the importance of connection, I also teach a training course—Everyone Communicates, Few Connect—in which I explain five principles and five practices of how to stand out from the crowd when selling your services.