Most of us have worked with someone who goes beyond the norm in being difficult. I have heard many stories of managers when we talk to random people who treat their staff abominably, co-workers who regularly over-react, turning small frustrations into major issues, and team members who are just plain odd. While we are all someone else’s difficult person at different times, there are some individuals who have a very long history of relationship difficulties. Some of these people we have the pleasure to work with. The reality is that a good number of these people fit the diagnosis of a mental health condition called a personality disorder.

The first is that their history of relationship difficulties extends right back to their adolescent years. You can imagine that it is very difficult to change what has been entrenched for a lifetime. Although you are unlikely to know the early history of a difficult co-worker, such people have a recent history where many people have found this person very difficult.

Secondly, people with personality disorders do not see their behaviour as a problem at all. What most people would see as very dysfunctional behaviour, they see as very functional. For example, a manager who expects his staff to work themselves into the ground see themselves as someone with special knowledge who knows what it takes to get the job done. Even when confronted about their behaviour, people with this condition find it very difficult to see their behaviour as problematic. Some will justify their position, arguing very persuasively why the problem is with others. This causes some of their co-workers to question themselves, wondering whether perhaps they are the problem.