Anyone who’s searched “how to be confident at work” knows the search results are numerous. They all tout similar suggestions: Make direct eye contact. Speak up. Ask for feedback. Improve your skills. These practical tips seem simple enough. So why do many of us still struggle to be more confident at work?
Confidence is one of those words we all believe we define the same way, but we likely do not. I offer this definition to ground us: Office confidence is someone’s ability to unapologetically articulate their professional brand, value, and strengths in the workplace to improve their career well-being.
With this definition in mind, our ability to check and adjust our actions to move toward increased confidence becomes much easier to gauge. To illustrate what office confidence looks like in practice, here’s a quick personal story:
Years ago, a few colleagues wanted to attend an office party for a retiring senior leader. They enthusiastically left our suite to go enjoy the party but returned quickly with grim expressions. They shared they were afraid to enter the room because there were “too many adults in there.” They asked if I would go with them. I agreed and served as a shield for them to enter, get some party snacks, and leave. However, I stayed in the room and enjoyed conversations with senior leaders, colleagues, and guests. People who previously didn’t know my name were introducing me to others, or finding time on my calendar to discuss projects I wanted to participate in.
When the party ended, I felt energized. Reflecting on the experience, I wondered why I was able to step into that room of people when others weren’t. Why did their fear manifest as “forget everything and run” but mine as “face everything and rise”? What had I done over time to build my office confidence to a level that prepared me for that moment?
Know Your Influence
Office confidence comes from having a firm understanding of both your communication style and your audience’s communication style(s). Assessments like CliftonStrengths, Enneagram, DiSC, True Colors, and others can provide helpful insight into how you communicate and influence others with your style and what to consider so that others receive your intended message. By learning about other communication styles, you can begin preparing yourself for how best to engage in the office.Connect to Your Purpose
Whether you have a knack for telling long, moving stories or are a straight-to-the-point type, people will not listen if it’s conveyed without heart. Take time to think through what motivates you. Then, make that motivation part of your elevator pitch. As you become more comfortable sharing why you show up, you’ll also start to develop some positive affirmations for yourself about why you need to show up.Find Your Allies
Teamwork truly makes the dream work. Joining or participating in affinity groups, cross-functional work committees, and internal networking events can help expand your brand across your organization. With more people knowing who you are and what you represent (for yourself, not just the organization), you can develop more supporters of your work and mission. Walking into scary rooms or jumping on a call to lead a presentation gets easier when you have more fans than foes in a space.Gather Your Proof
First, be prepared to contribute by building the habit of researching hot topics in your industry. Habits like reading articles or books, listening to podcasts, attending conferences, or watching videos will help you keep your finger on the pulse of trends—meaning you’ll almost always be able to start a conversation or add to one.Next, take stock of your successes. Make a habit of taking time to write down your accomplishments, so you can reference them when needed. Need to recount why you deserve to be here? Check your list. Need to refresh your memory on how great you are at tackling challenges? Check your list. These reminders will help reinforce your inner confidence for more effective conversations.
With these suggestions in mind, where would you like to invest your time in becoming more confident? Remember that the goal is never perfection, but rather healthy progress toward responding with confidence—showcasing who you are and how brilliantly you add to the environment—when you’re presented with opportunities to show up in the workplace.
Check out my EXLEARN 2023 session to learn how to create experiences for the whole human.
