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Claire Langley

Does this sound familiar?“Why does he get all of the good accounts?”“I work twice as hard as they do, but I know I don’t get compensated fairly.”“Why are we having another meeting?” We all know the “Woe Is Me” co-worker. They drain your energy and the energy of your team with their consistently whiney attitudes.  We don’t want them on our work team, but even the best of us hire them. So, how do we spot them during the recruitment process before they sign on the dotted line? If they’ve already been hired, how do we deal with them once they are with us? Let’s look at one warning sign and two solutions. Review their Digital Footprint Recruiters are always careful to watch out for the candidate who bad-mouth their previous employers or current co-workers during an interview. You also need to stakeout your job candidate’s social media profiles for similar types of comments. Fortunately, most people who like to complain, like to do as publicly as possible. Often, they will share Facebook posts on relationship issues with “friends” and family. You may also find out “how difficult” the job search has been for them. They may have a blog riddled with personal woes and catastrophes. Bottom line: If they’re willing to share their displeasure with life to a general public forum, you better believe they will not hold back as your employee. Expect—and Demand—Better So what happens when you’ve hired a positive candidate with solid credentials, but within a few weeks they start bringing you multiple problems on a consistent basis? Sometimes the only way to get through to someone with a strong pessimistic filter is to hold up a mirror in front of them. Many times, these people aren’t necessarily aware of their negative habits. When “life is always difficult,” people around them may hold back from making their life any harder. Most likely they are avoided, but nobody tells them why. It’s likely that the worker will be sensitive—and possibly defensive. Consequently, you will need to carry grace and truth to the table. For example, you might say, “I’ve noticed that there is a lot going on in your life right now. I’m sorry that things are difficult. Let me tell you, though, what I expect. I still need you to be engaged at work. This project needs as much positive influence as possible. I want to challenge you to bring one positive comment to the team during each meeting. Can you help me with that?” This message will give the employee a clear expectation and a reachable goal that you can measure. Also, you acknowledge the difficulties or stress they are facing, but you don’t overindulge it. Transfer the Problem-Solving Burden I had a boss who gave me some wise advice, “Claire, when you bring your boss a problem, also present them with at least one possible solution.” She graciously taught me that if I wanted to see change in my work area, I could be a major part of bringing about that change. This approach worked well, and I’ve continued to apply it throughout my career—for myself and those that I advise. By doing so, I can show a co-worker or employee that their problem-solving capabilities are valuable to me.  This type of empowering can not only make a difference in your experience as a supervisor, it also can help change the thought processes of your employees. They will have the opportunity to move—one issue at a time—from problem-maker to problem-solver. This can also make your team stronger as others can find encouragement to move beyond the status quo. Take Away No matter how hard we work at developing a successful hiring process, people are still people. All employees can cause their team and managers headaches at some point. Do the best you can to vet your candidates, trying to weed out those with undesirable behavior. However, if you get stuck with a “Woe Is Me” worker on your team, give them solid boundaries to work within and a chance to be better!

Claire Langley

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