Emily-Cosgrove

Emily Cosgrove

January 2024 - TD Magazine

Let&rsquo;s talk about how to improve your communication and conversational skills.

The Fine Art of Conversation

We have tough conversations ahead of us. If we are to make progress, we must create inclusive, safe, and thoughtful conversations that challenge us to expand our thinking.

3 Tips to Help You Talk Through Today’s Controversial Issues

Workplace civility is making a comeback.Kindness and etiquette had its heyday in the mid-1900s, back when professionals were heavily influenced by Emily Post, dressed formally for work, and handwrote personal communications. But a lot has changed over 65 years. Today, people are much less inclined to “mind their manners,” and interpersonal communication is a lot less pleasant. It’s almost as if business casual transitioned away from attire and into attitude.More importantly, there’s cost to this lack of “professionalism” and civility in the workplace. According to business professors Christine Pearson and Christine Porath, authors of The Cost of Bad Behavior: How Incivility is Damaging Your Business and What to Do About It, the American workplace loses an estimated $300 billion annually in productivity because of incivility and resulting employee stress. In addition, one study reports that Fortune 1000 executives spend roughly seven weeks per year resolving employee conflicts, and 95 percent of Americans say they’ve experienced rudeness at work.What can organizations do to turn around this trend? The answer is simple: Connect civility with leadership. If you are acting in ways that are consistent with influencing outcomes and inspiring others (my definition of what a leader does), you are likely exceeding the “civility bar.”Case in point: Before a recent keynote address at a large government agency, my host mentioned that the agency is starting a “Civility and Business Etiquette Employee Resource Group.” She then shared 10 practices from a historical employee newsletter that offered guidance on how to be civil. The newsletter was dated September 15, 1951.Here are some of the practices, which truly stand the test of time:Speak to people. Don’t let technology replace your real, live interactions. There is nothing as nice as a cheerful word of greeting.Smile at people. You’ve heard it before: It takes 72 muscles to frown, only 14 to smile. Yet, look at the people around you…what expressions are they carrying on their face? Break the mold by smiling at others when you see them.Call people by name. The sweetest music to anyone’s ears is the sound of their own name. If you know someone’s name, use it. If you don’t know the person, but see their name on a nametag or badge, use it!Be friendly. You can make or break someone’s day through your interactions. Even if you’ve had a bad day, there’s no reason to punish others because of it.Be cordial. Speak and act as if everything you do is a genuine pleasure. This little habit is absolutely contagious.Be sincerely interested in others. You can like almost everybody if you try. When you can demonstrate your genuine interest in others, you can influence them in an instant.Be generous with praise; cautious with criticism. If we want people to grow and develop, they have to hear what they’re doing well so that they can repeat it.Be considerate with the feelings of others. Remember: The Golden Rule is treating everyone like you want to be treated; the Platinum Rule is treating others how they want to be treated.Be thoughtful of the opinions of others. You’re not always right. There are usually three sides to a controversy: yours, the other person’s, and the right one.Be alert to give service. What counts most in life is what we do for others.Workplace civility can catch on like wildfire in your organization if you focus your efforts. If you’re able to put even one of these guidelines into effect, you’re actions will get noticed and, more importantly, they will be appreciated and valued by others.