00000160-9419-d325-a1f4-9fb996cb0000-authorID

steve-watts.jpg

Steve Watts

January 2018 - TD Magazine

Despite naysayers, Mendix championed an innovative learning process to deliver tangible business results.

Overcoming the Resistance

Mentors need to be fully invested in their mentees and mentoring relationships. They need to skillfully draw out mentees and encourage them to drive the relationship. Effective mentors help mentees discover answers for themselves, rather than simply give answers—even though it is far easier and more efficient to tell rather than ask. Savvy mentors know that posing questions facilitate learning. This is how mentees develop themselves and their careers. Good intention is great and important in a mentoring relationship. And experience matters too. But is that enough? We invite you to listen in to a mentor-to-mentee interaction. Think about what Steve, the mentor, is doing well and where you think he misses the mark.  “Paul, it’s good to see you again. Come, sit down. Let me just clear off my desk and finish this email.” Paul settles into the chair opposite his Steve’s desk and waits for his mentor to wrap up what he is working on. A few minutes later, Steve pushes his computer aside and smiles at Paul, his mentee, and asks: “So what’s up? What’s been going on?” Paul answers: “Well, things have been good. Working hard as usual. And I brought along a list of some challenges I have been dealing with as you suggested from our last meeting. That was a good exercise. It made me have to think about what really gets in the way.” Steve replies: “Well, thinking is always good. And thinking about challenges is a good way for me to sort of stop and figure things out. For example, a couple of years ago, I was struggling with being micromanaged by my former boss.” Steve continues to relate the story about his struggle to deal with his boss’ management style and how it made him feel. As Steve talks, Paul realizes that they have more in common than he first thought. Paul replies: “Well, that’s funny, micromanagement was on my list too. I am having problems with that with my own manager.” “Well, here’s what I did that helped.” Steve spends the next few minutes outlining the strategy he used in dealing with his boss, and the end result. “That might be something you could try too,” Steve adds. Paul nods. Even though Steve’s approach would never work in his own situation, he doesn’t want to disagree with his mentor. He decides to take some notes on his Smart Pad to give the impression he is creating an action plan. Steve looks at his watch and abruptly stands up. “Well, sorry Paul, I to have to wrap this up early—a meeting came up that I have to attend. Why don’t you work on that strategy with your manager. Next time, we can talk about how it went and the results you’re getting.” As Paul pushes away from his chair, Steve is still leaning into his computer screen. Steve asks, “Just to confirm, when is our next meeting?” Paul replies: “Next month, same time. Your office. As long as you don’t have a conflict, I’ll be here.” “OK. Good. Look forward to seeing you.” And Paul and Steve conclude the session. Probably most of us would agree that Steve has the right idea. He greets his mentee warmly, and takes time to catch up on what is going on in Paul’s world. He shows his vulnerability by sharing a personal and revealing story about a challenge he faced. He gets points for giving his mentee an assignment to discuss for their next meeting. And he closes the mentoring session by confirming the time for their next meeting. We think there is more that Paul and Steve could—and should—have be doing. Do you? We invite you to take a few moments to ponder the answers to these questions and think about them in relation to yourself and your mentoring relationships. Was Steve ready for the mentoring meeting?How might Paul have felt when Steve was still working and keeping the mentee waiting?Was Steve on top of the assignment he gave Paul during the last meeting?Do you think Steve spent enough time getting to know Paul before getting down to the business of mentoring?Who was doing most of the talking?What’s the problem with telling your mentee how to solve a problem, especially when you think you have a perfect answer?What would be the benefit if Steve asked Paul how he wanted to handle his boss’s micromanaging style? THOUGHT QUESTION: What are you doing that might be working against your mentor/mentee relationship?

Savvy Mentors Present Questions—Not Answers

Steve Arneson is a nationally recognized speaker, executive coach, and leadership consultant. He founded Arneson Leadership Consulting in 2007 to provide practical solutions for individuals and companies looking to enhance their leadership impact. Prior to that, Steve served as the head of leadership development and talent management at divisions of PepsiCo and Yum Brands, and later at AOL, Time Warner Cable, and Capital One.In part 2 of my series on boss-employee relationships, I caught up with Steve to ask him a few questions about his new book, What Your Boss Really Wants from You, and to get his take on this special relationship.Which of your own bosses had the greatest influence on you as a leader and coach?I’ve had many influential bosses, among them Steve Wonder at Aon Consulting, Joe Bosch at Yum Brands, and Tom Mathews at Time Warner Cable. Having a great boss gives you a road map to follow in terms of how you want to lead and coach your people, and each of these bosses encouraged and challenged me to continue developing myself. They all continue to be role models for me.Which do you think is more instructive: a great boss or a terrible one?That’s a tough question, because you can learn so much from a bad boss – namely, how not to behave, manage a team, etc. But if I had to pick just one, I’d say a great boss will ultimately teach you more, because they’re taking the time to teach, mentor and coach you. Because they’re invested in you, the lessons simply stick with you longer. You’re also much more likely to stay in touch with a great boss, so the lessons can continue long after you stop working for them.What are some of the most common things that bosses want from their employees?Great bosses want five things from you. They expect you to: 1) have a strong work ethic, 2) demonstrate a positive attitude, 3) be a team player, 4) generate innovative ideas, and 5) get outstanding results. In my experience, bad bosses may want a variety of things from you that are totally dependent on their specific motives. They may want you to keep a low profile, do only what they tell you, or work tirelessly to make them look good. That’s really the essence of the book – you have to do your homework about your boss’s motives to truly understand what they want from you.Which common boss/motivators (from step 3) is most challenging?I think it’s the insecure boss, for one reason – they’re unpredictable. With the control freak, ego-driven or career-focused boss, you can eventually figure them out and adjust to their style, but the insecure boss’s motives can be harder to identify. The insecure boss can also get good at adapting to their environment, producing just enough results to not get fired. In the meantime, they can drive you crazy with their lack of attention, poor direction, no feedback, and non-supportive style.In your new book, you write that in your experience, many bosses want less from you, not more. What do you mean?Many bosses don’t tap into your full potential or let you innovate in ways that would move the team forward. They like things the way they are, and don’t want you rocking the boat. In these cases, they don’t actually want you trying new things or generating new ideas because it means more work for them. I’ve coached several executives who say their boss just wants to “keep them in a box” – in this sense, the boss actually wants less of your brainpower and energy than you’re capable of giving.‘Leadership brand’ is used a lot in literature and training. What can someone do to build a strong, positive brand given the pressures of today’s workplace?First, always tell the truth and do the right thing. Your brand’s foundation is your integrity, trustworthiness, and ethical behavior (get this wrong, and it doesn’t matter what else you do).Next, do your job really well – whatever you do, get really good at it and perform at a consistently high level.Third, build relationships, as many as you can; you want others to enjoy working with you.Fourth, bring an open mind to every interaction… if you’re the adult in the room, others will notice your calming influence. Finally, bring a positive attitude to work every day, and be respectful of everyone you meet.If you do these five things, you will build a strong, positive leadership brand – which is really your single, greatest asset at work.

Steve Watts

About