Developing Leaders in the Age of AI: Why the “Being Side” Is Now the Differentiator

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A recent New York Times piece described a growing pattern in healthcare: When people have a medical concern, many are turning first to ChatGPT and other AI tools—often before contacting a clinician. In interviews, patients described using chatbots to fill gaps created by long wait times, short appointments, confusing systems, and the emotional strain of feeling misunderstood in a rushed interaction.

A recent New York Times piece described a growing pattern in healthcare: When people have a medical concern, many are turning first to ChatGPT and other AI tools—often before contacting a clinician. In interviews, patients described using chatbots to fill gaps created by long wait times, short appointments, confusing systems, and the emotional strain of feeling misunderstood in a rushed interaction.

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Then came the detail that matters for those of us in talent development: When asked why they go to AI first, people pointed to something that has very little to do with clinical expertise. One patient captured it simply: “ChatGPT has all day for me—it never rushes me out of the chat.” In other words, they responded that they go to ChatGPT first because it listens to them.

Then came the detail that matters for those of us in talent development: When asked why they go to AI first, people pointed to something that has very little to do with clinical expertise. One patient captured it simply: “ChatGPT has all day for me—it never rushes me out of the chat.” In other words, they responded that they go to ChatGPT first because it listens to them.

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What this reveals is that while doctors may have the strength of knowledge and skills, which I term their “Doing Side,” they seem to struggle with an aspect of themselves that is critical to fulfilling their purpose of bringing greater health to patients: their “Being Side,” which is more about their character, mindsets, and emotional intelligence, and regulation abilities.

What this reveals is that while doctors may have the strength of knowledge and skills, which I term their “Doing Side,” they seem to struggle with an aspect of themselves that is critical to fulfilling their purpose of bringing greater health to patients: their “Being Side,” which is more about their character, mindsets, and emotional intelligence, and regulation abilities.

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I bring this up because I have learned that almost all of our development efforts in organizations are focused on helping employees with their Doing Side—building capabilities such as technical expertise, functional competence, execution, productivity, and problem-solving. Meanwhile, we underinvest in the Being Side: the internal operating system that determines how people show up under pressure, in conflict, and amid uncertainty.

I bring this up because I have learned that almost all of our development efforts in organizations are focused on helping employees with their Doing Side—building capabilities such as technical expertise, functional competence, execution, productivity, and problem-solving. Meanwhile, we underinvest in the Being Side: the internal operating system that determines how people show up under pressure, in conflict, and amid uncertainty.

The Being Side Gap Is Real (and Measurable)

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If the Being Side were in a healthy place across organizations, we’d see it in the data. Instead, we see a sobering pattern:

If the Being Side were in a healthy place across organizations, we’d see it in the data. Instead, we see a sobering pattern:

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  Research summarized in Harvard Business Review (drawing from Tasha Eurich’s work) notes that while

  Research summarized in Harvard Business Review (drawing from Tasha Eurich’s work) notes that while

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  95 percent of people believe they’re self-aware, only 10–15 percent actually are.

  95 percent of people believe they’re self-aware, only 10–15 percent actually are.

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  Korn Ferry research suggests only 22 percent of leaders demonstrate strong emotional intelligence.

  Korn Ferry research suggests only 22 percent of leaders demonstrate strong emotional intelligence.

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  Travis Bradberry reports that only 36 percent of people can accurately identify their emotions as they happen—a foundational skill for emotional intelligence.

  Travis Bradberry reports that only 36 percent of people can accurately identify their emotions as they happen—a foundational skill for emotional intelligence.

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  In a survey cited by Forbes, 65 percent of respondents said they’d prefer a better boss over a pay raise.

  In a survey cited by Forbes, 65 percent of respondents said they’d prefer a better boss over a pay raise.

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Collectively, these point to a consistent reality: Many organizations are building sharper “doers” without building more capable humans.

Collectively, these point to a consistent reality: Many organizations are building sharper “doers” without building more capable humans.

Why AI Raises the Stakes

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In the day and age of AI—which is becoming a near-bottomless pit of Doing Side knowledge—the differentiator won’t be who has the best information. It will be whoever can bring the best presence.

In the day and age of AI—which is becoming a near-bottomless pit of Doing Side knowledge—the differentiator won’t be who has the best information. It will be whoever can bring the best presence.

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AI can draft, summarize, analyze, recommend, and generate at speed. But it cannot replace what teams most need from leaders and colleagues when things get real: emotional steadiness, psychological safety, trust, courage, accountability, and the ability to listen and connect when tension rises.

AI can draft, summarize, analyze, recommend, and generate at speed. But it cannot replace what teams most need from leaders and colleagues when things get real: emotional steadiness, psychological safety, trust, courage, accountability, and the ability to listen and connect when tension rises.

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If people prefer a chatbot because it “listens,” that’s not a technology story. It’s a Being Side story. And it’s showing us what humans are hungry for—at work, too.

If people prefer a chatbot because it “listens,” that’s not a technology story. It’s a Being Side story. And it’s showing us what humans are hungry for—at work, too.

Three Practical Shifts for Talent Development

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1. Make Being Side development a core capability, not “soft skills.” Put self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and mindset growth on the same strategic level as execution and strategy. Because under stress, the Being Side determines whether the Doing Side's actual capability is well used.

1. Make Being Side development a core capability, not “soft skills.” Put self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and mindset growth on the same strategic level as execution and strategy. Because under stress, the Being Side determines whether the Doing Side's actual capability is well used.

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2. Help people upgrade their nervous system capacity. Most breakdowns at work aren’t knowledge breakdowns—they’re capacity breakdowns. When change, pressure, uncertainty, and complexity rise, many people get overwhelmed, reactive, or burned out. Development must include practices that expand regulation capacity: noticing triggers earlier, recovering faster, staying grounded longer, and remaining relational in moments that would normally create defensiveness or shutdown.

2. Help people upgrade their nervous system capacity. Most breakdowns at work aren’t knowledge breakdowns—they’re capacity breakdowns. When change, pressure, uncertainty, and complexity rise, many people get overwhelmed, reactive, or burned out. Development must include practices that expand regulation capacity: noticing triggers earlier, recovering faster, staying grounded longer, and remaining relational in moments that would normally create defensiveness or shutdown.

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3. Measure the altitude of the Being Side—directly. Don’t guess. Use measurement tools and activities that explicitly assess Being Side realities: the quality of mindsets, emotional regulation abilities, and how someone’s body is “programmed” to operate under pressure and stress. This can include assessments, structured reflection routines, and 360 feedback instruments designed to evaluate observable behaviors that signal regulation, humility, curiosity, and relational impact—not just competence and results.

3. Measure the altitude of the Being Side—directly. Don’t guess. Use measurement tools and activities that explicitly assess Being Side realities: the quality of mindsets, emotional regulation abilities, and how someone’s body is “programmed” to operate under pressure and stress. This can include assessments, structured reflection routines, and 360 feedback instruments designed to evaluate observable behaviors that signal regulation, humility, curiosity, and relational impact—not just competence and results.

The Bottom Line

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The goal isn’t to compete with AI for information. The goal is to develop leaders and employees who can use information wisely—especially when the stakes are high and emotions are present.

The goal isn’t to compete with AI for information. The goal is to develop leaders and employees who can use information wisely—especially when the stakes are high and emotions are present.

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In the end, the future of leadership won’t belong to whoever has the best answers. It will belong to whoever has the best presence.

In the end, the future of leadership won’t belong to whoever has the best answers. It will belong to whoever has the best presence.

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If you want to learn more, attend my session at the ATD 2026 International Conference & EXPO : Optimizing the Human “Being” in the Age of AI.

If you want to learn more, attend my session at the ATD 2026 International Conference & EXPO: Optimizing the Human “Being” in the Age of AI.