Group Flow: Tell Me How You REALLY Feel

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Emotional intelligence is one thing, but how your employees feel in the moment and on a specific subject , can yield real gold. But how to get it?

Emotional intelligence is one thing, but how your employees feel in the moment and on a specific subject, can yield real gold. But how to get it?

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In any typical serious business discussion, we're not supposed to allow feelings and emotions to intrude. But they intrude anyway, so we often disguise them as logic. Has anyone ever heard the term “personal agenda”? Or wondered why your team was in perfect agreement about the change, but continued to do business the old way?

In any typical serious business discussion, we're not supposed to allow feelings and emotions to intrude. But they intrude anyway, so we often disguise them as logic. Has anyone ever heard the term “personal agenda”? Or wondered why your team was in perfect agreement about the change, but continued to do business the old way? 

Case in Point

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As a young propulsion engineer, I often participated in design and anomaly reviews. A more experienced engineer, who was very respected by co-workers, didn’t say much. But when he did add to the conversation, we all listened. However, he often began by saying, “When I worked on the Apollo program…” Then, he would elaborate in great detail on a seemingly unrelated issue. Apollo stories were great, but they went better with a beer at happy hour—especially since we were under pressure to solve a problem on a satellite on orbit. We honored Rob’s narrative, but discretely rolled our eyes as he relived the good old days.

As a young propulsion engineer, I often participated in design and anomaly reviews. A more experienced engineer, who was very respected by co-workers, didn’t say much. But when he did add to the conversation, we all listened. However, he often began by saying, “When I worked on the Apollo program…” Then, he would elaborate in great detail on a seemingly unrelated issue. Apollo stories were great, but they went better with a beer at happy hour—especially since we were under pressure to solve a problem on a satellite on orbit. We honored Rob’s narrative, but discretely rolled our eyes as he relived the good old days.

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But he wasn’t. Rob had a feeling about the current issue based on his experience on Apollo. His instincts were telling him that we were looking at the wrong thing or that an analysis shouldn’t be trusted without running a test. But he couldn’t simply say that. He needed to justify his intuition. His Apollo stories were meant to prove logically his feelings about the current issue.

But he wasn’t. Rob had a feeling about the current issue based on his experience on Apollo. His instincts were telling him that we were looking at the wrong thing or that an analysis shouldn’t be trusted without running a test. But he couldn’t simply say that. He needed to justify his intuition. His Apollo stories were meant to prove logically his feelings about the current issue.

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Feelings are the opposite of logic. Our intuition can’t be logically explained, but we are indoctrinated to try anyway. In Rob’s case, the team couldn’t make the connection between the issue he experienced with the giant rocket engines of Apollo to the current propulsion design 40 years later.

Feelings are the opposite of logic. Our intuition can’t be logically explained, but we are indoctrinated to try anyway. In Rob’s case, the team couldn’t make the connection between the issue he experienced with the giant rocket engines of Apollo to the current propulsion design 40 years later. 

Pulse Check in Practice

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So if experience, gut instinct, and intuition are important ingredients to clear thinking and decision making, how do we access them?

So if experience, gut instinct, and intuition are important ingredients to clear thinking and decision making, how do we access them?

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Simply take a pulse check of the group. Coin a phrase that signals to your organization that “This is a feeling.” It might be something like: “Let’s check the thermometer…,” “Time out! Let’s take a gut check…,” or for more coarse groups “What’s the BS level here?”

Simply take a pulse check of the group. Coin a phrase that signals to your organization that “This is a feeling.” It might be something like: “Let’s check the thermometer…,” “Time out! Let’s take a gut check…,” or for more coarse groups “What’s the BS level here?”

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Next time the energy in a meeting is waning, check the thermometer. Go around the room and ask each everyone how they feel and what their gut is telling them. Give people examples like: frustrated, angry, don’t like it, pissed off, don’t care, upset, unsure, cautious, irritated, not gonna work, same old thing, just do it, surprised, might work, let’s go for it, excited, energized, can’t wait, love it, or perfect!

Next time the energy in a meeting is waning, check the thermometer. Go around the room and ask each everyone how they feel and what their gut is telling them. Give people examples like: frustrated, angry, don’t like it, pissed off, don’t care, upset, unsure, cautious, irritated, not gonna work, same old thing, just do it, surprised, might work, let’s go for it, excited, energized, can’t wait, love it, or perfect!

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This should take 30-45 seconds for the whole group to voice how they feel. Expressions should be two to three words. No stories; no justification. Explanation of one’s feelings isn’t needed or desired. Write their exact words on a white board or flip chart—so everyone can see and acknowledge them.

This should take 30-45 seconds for the whole group to voice how they feel. Expressions should be two to three words. No stories; no justification. Explanation of one’s feelings isn’t needed or desired. Write their exact words on a white board or flip chart—so everyone can see and acknowledge them.

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If the topic is charged or controversial, you may want to check the thermometer anonymously. Make room on the white board in the break room, pass out small folded paper during the meeting, or make a chart with the suggested feelings above and have each person put a check mark by the one with which they most identify.

If the topic is charged or controversial, you may want to check the thermometer anonymously. Make room on the white board in the break room, pass out small folded paper during the meeting, or make a chart with the suggested feelings above and have each person put a check mark by the one with which they most identify.

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When you check the thermometer of your organization and meeting participants regularly, you get:

When you check the thermometer of your organization and meeting participants regularly, you get:

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  better input for evaluating issues

  better input for evaluating issues 

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  drastic reduction in hidden agendas and hurt feelings

  drastic reduction in hidden agendas and hurt feelings 

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  alignment in decisions

  alignment in decisions 

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  appreciation by employees for being acknowledged.

  appreciation by employees for being acknowledged.

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Emotions drive everything we do, including our work. High productivity, creativity, and focus result from optimism and positive feelings. So, just as doctors check the body temperature as an indication of health, checking your organization’s temperature provides managers with insight into its health. And even if it’s low, just the act of checking will likely raise it significantly.

Emotions drive everything we do, including our work. High productivity, creativity, and focus result from optimism and positive feelings. So, just as doctors check the body temperature as an indication of health, checking your organization’s temperature provides managers with insight into its health. And even if it’s low, just the act of checking will likely raise it significantly.