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How to Remotely Connect and Develop Relationships With Buyers


Fri Feb 26 2021

How to Remotely Connect and Develop Relationships With Buyers

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Something as simple and subtle as a handshake has gone away, maybe for good. Selling is different right now, and we don’t have a choice other than to adapt.

In a (pre-COVID-19) study, management experts at the University of Iowa declared handshakes “more important than agreeableness, conscientiousness, or emotional stability” when analyzing interactions during job interviews. Countless other studies have shown that a handshake can improve the quality of an interaction, producing “a higher degree of intimacy and trust within a matter of seconds.” This applies to sales as well.


So, how do we replicate something as subtle and ubiquitous as a handshake when we can’t meet in person?

Enter the 3 Es

To increase our chances of success, in addition to all the traditional selling skills, we need to focus on the 3 Es of connecting virtually: energy, engagement, and empathy.

1 | Energy

Zoom fatigue (and virtual meeting fatigue, in general) is real. A Harvard Business Review article, “How to Combat Zoom Fatigue,” suggests that constantly being on camera, focusing directly on the other person, and being “always-on” can be emotionally and mentally draining. Yet we’re doing virtual meetings more than ever.

As sales professionals, the need to show up like you’re there in person is more important, even if you’ve been on six hours of virtual meetings with no breaks.


So, how do you show up with energy?

  • Block out transition time. Don’t allow your calendar to be booked back-to-back with important meetings. Quality over quantity will win every time with online meetings.

  • Take a break and take time for yourself. Use that 15 minutes between meetings to step outside, get some fresh air and sunshine, and breathe. Time away from the screen will help you stay more alert when you are in front of it.

  • Move around before important meetings. My colleague has a mini-trampoline and is known to bounce aggressively before a video shoot or important virtual meeting. Movement gets the blood flowing, increases energy, and changes how you show up. A set of air squats, pushups, or jumping jacks can do the same thing.

  • If you have a standing desk, consider standing for important meetings. According to the Forbes article, “Why You Shouldn't Give a Presentation Sitting Down,” you really do think better on your feet—and you present better too. According to the article, students focus better and longer when they stand. That also goes for salespeople. Even though you may not physically be in the room with your customer, standing to present changes your physiology, mindset, and posture.

  • Turn on your camera before the call (more on this later) and look at yourself.

  • Practice smiling. Smiling is a choice. It’s contagious, and it demonstrates interest and energy. Look at yourself in the mirror (webcam) and ask whether you look engaging and like somebody you’d buy something from.

  • More than ever, it’s important to get a good night’s rest, hydrate, and eat regularly. Especially when such a large portion of sales professionals is done from home, it’s easy to work too much and forget to take care of yourself. Your routine is important and will help you remain focused and energized.

2 | Engagement

Engaging a customer or prospect in a virtual meeting poses unique challenges. The tendencies for people to multitask and get distracted make it particularly challenging to keep the meeting focused, especially when you can’t always read the audience.

Whenever possible, turn on your video camera and encourage customers to do the same. They may decline, but our experience is that if you turn your camera on, most of the time, customers will do the same.

The good news is that people are much more comfortable in virtual meetings and on video than they were even a few months ago. Having an open dialogue on two-way video is the next best thing to being there in person.


Once you’ve turned on your video, ensure you know where your camera lens is located on your computer. Looking into the camera gives the person on the other end the impression that you’re looking directly at them. On the other hand, looking at your second monitor, or even looking at the thumbnail image of the person you’re talking to may make it appear like you’re distracted or not paying attention to them.

Turn your camera on before the meeting, either in the meeting application or by simply typing “webcam” into your start menu. You’ll be able to test your camera, lighting, background, and overall image before you engage with your customer. The basics still apply: join the meeting on time (if you’re hosting, log in early) and be prepared. Making a great first impression is as important in a virtual world as it is in person.

In a virtual world, you need to work even harder to create meaningful engagement opportunities with your customer. Asking open-ended questions will help you assess whether you are meeting the mark.

Instead of asking typical close-ended check-in questions like “Does that make sense?” or “Do you have any questions?” plan open-ended questions that invite dialogue and solicit feedback, such as, “How do you see that working in your environment?” or “What challenges do you see that presenting during implementation?”. If you have a larger audience, consider using a poll or chat feature to encourage everyone’s participation. Don’t be afraid to call on participants by name and ask for their opinion (for example, “So, Bill, what additional questions or concerns does that bring up for you?”).

3 | Empathy

Making a point to build a more personal relationship with a customer or prospect, even over a virtual call, is extremely important. Understanding where the person is coming from—literally and figuratively—can help you make that connection. Spending time before a meeting to familiarize yourself with their background, their company, and their potential challenges and opportunities can go a long way toward helping you connect more deeply.

Empathy is about trying to see things from the other person’s perspective. How has the pandemic affected their company and them personally? Can you ascertain how they’ve been affected by the loss of access to customers or the shutdown of certain areas of the economy?

The pandemic affects people and companies differently and having some perspective of how they may have been influenced can improve how you show up, ask questions and listen, and be sensitive to their situation. How have their needs changed from before the pandemic? What can you do to meet those needs?

Looking them in their eyes, asking questions, practicing active listening, and attempting to understand their perspective will help you build a relationship with that individual and put you in a better position to help them in the future.

Bottom line

Selling in a virtual world presents some new challenges, but these skills are applicable in the current and post-COVID-19 world. Just like improving your selling skills should remain a continuous goal, you should commit to learning and maximizing your virtual expertise.

The virtual world is constantly changing, and there are new techniques and technologies to leverage all the time. It’s difficult to predict how the sales landscape will change over the coming months and years, but showing up with energy, engaging your customer, and demonstrating empathy will serve you well and never go out of style.

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