Laid Off? What Did and Didn’t Happen to You (And What to Do Next)

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When good people lose their jobs, the impact extends far beyond finances. It strikes at identity, confidence, and belonging. Understanding the psychology behind layoffs is crucial for moving forward with clarity.

When good people lose their jobs, the impact extends far beyond finances. It strikes at identity, confidence, and belonging. Understanding the psychology behind layoffs is crucial for moving forward with clarity.

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“I have a family. A wife. Two kids who depend on me. I’m trying to stay consistent in the job search, but the rejection gets overwhelming.”

“I have a family. A wife. Two kids who depend on me. I’m trying to stay consistent in the job search, but the rejection gets overwhelming.”

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That phrase, stayed with me: “Rejection feels overwhelming.”

That phrase, stayed with me: “Rejection feels overwhelming.”

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That’s what Marcus shared with me during our first coaching session from our cohort’s program, “From Layoff to Clarity.” He had been laid off three months earlier with no warning, no poor performance review, no red flags. Just a restructuring email on a Friday morning that changed everything.

That’s what Marcus shared with me during our first coaching session from our cohort’s program, “From Layoff to Clarity.” He had been laid off three months earlier with no warning, no poor performance review, no red flags. Just a restructuring email on a Friday morning that changed everything.

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His voice shifted to the pain he felt as he continued: “I keep thinking ... if I had just worked harder. If I had been more visible. If I were truly valuable, they would’ve found a way to keep me.”

His voice shifted to the pain he felt as he continued: “I keep thinking ... if I had just worked harder. If I had been more visible. If I were truly valuable, they would’ve found a way to keep me.”

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Marcus wasn’t just worried about his resume. He was concerned about stability, his ability to provide, and his sense of worth. He wasn’t alone in feeling this way.

Marcus wasn’t just worried about his resume. He was concerned about stability, his ability to provide, and his sense of worth. He wasn’t alone in feeling this way.

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Here’s what I’ve seen repeatedly: Layoffs rarely feel fair, and they rarely feel logical to the people experiencing them. But when you’re the one affected, the story often becomes: “This happened because of me.”

Here’s what I’ve seen repeatedly: Layoffs rarely feel fair, and they rarely feel logical to the people experiencing them. But when you’re the one affected, the story often becomes: “This happened because of me.”

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It’s not true. And until you shift that narrative, it’s nearly impossible to approach your next step with confidence or clarity.

It’s not true. And until you shift that narrative, it’s nearly impossible to approach your next step with confidence or clarity.

The Psychological Trap of Self-Blame

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Here’s what most people don’t understand about layoffs: They’re strategic business decisions made in boardrooms, not performance evaluations made about individuals.

Here’s what most people don’t understand about layoffs: They’re strategic business decisions made in boardrooms, not performance evaluations made about individuals.

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Yet, the human mind desperately seeks to make sense of loss by assigning personal responsibility. It’s a survival mechanism. If we can identify what we did “wrong,” then we can theoretically prevent it from happening again. This creates a dangerous psychological trap.

Yet, the human mind desperately seeks to make sense of loss by assigning personal responsibility. It’s a survival mechanism. If we can identify what we did “wrong,” then we can theoretically prevent it from happening again. This creates a dangerous psychological trap.

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When talented professionals like Marcus internalize layoffs as personal failures, they:

When talented professionals like Marcus internalize layoffs as personal failures, they:

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  Undervalue their worth in the job market, accepting lower salaries or poor cultural fits.

  Undervalue their worth in the job market, accepting lower salaries or poor cultural fits.

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  Approach interviews defensively , spending mental energy anticipating judgment about their layoff.

  Approach interviews defensively, spending mental energy anticipating judgment about their layoff.

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  Make survival-mode career decisions , rushing into the first opportunity rather than strategically positioning themselves.

  Make survival-mode career decisions, rushing into the first opportunity rather than strategically positioning themselves.

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The irony? Many people I coach through layoffs are precisely the employees that organizations desperately need: experienced, resilient, and motivated.

The irony? Many people I coach through layoffs are precisely the employees that organizations desperately need: experienced, resilient, and motivated.

The Recovery Pattern

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Through years of coaching professionals through unexpected job loss, I’ve identified three predictable stages:

Through years of coaching professionals through unexpected job loss, I’ve identified three predictable stages:

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  The Blame Spiral: Nearly everyone enters intense self-examination, replaying every interaction that might have “caused” their layoff. This feels productive but is destructive.

  The Blame Spiral: Nearly everyone enters intense self-examination, replaying every interaction that might have “caused” their layoff. This feels productive but is destructive.

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  The Reality Check: People begin seeing their layoff in a broader context. Entire departments eliminated, industry-wide cuts, and company financial struggles. The narrative shifts from “What did I do wrong?” to “What actually happened?”

  The Reality Check: People begin seeing their layoff in a broader context. Entire departments eliminated, industry-wide cuts, and company financial struggles. The narrative shifts from “What did I do wrong?” to “What actually happened?”

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  Strategic Reframing: Real recovery begins when the question becomes “What do I want to do next?” Professionals see their layoff as a transition point, not an ending.

  Strategic Reframing: Real recovery begins when the question becomes “What do I want to do next?” Professionals see their layoff as a transition point, not an ending.

The New Career Reality

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The economic landscape has fundamentally changed. The promise of job security (join a company, work hard, retire with a pension) is dead.

The economic landscape has fundamentally changed. The promise of job security (join a company, work hard, retire with a pension) is dead.

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The average person will have 12 to 15 jobs over their lifetime. Mass layoffs have become quarterly business strategies. Even “stable” industries regularly restructure. This means the question isn’t “How do I find a secure job?” It’s “How do I build a career that can weather inevitable transitions?”

The average person will have 12 to 15 jobs over their lifetime. Mass layoffs have become quarterly business strategies. Even “stable” industries regularly restructure. This means the question isn’t “How do I find a secure job?” It’s “How do I build a career that can weather inevitable transitions?”

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Skills that travel anywhere:

Skills that travel anywhere:

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  Strategic analysis and data interpretation

  Strategic analysis and data interpretation

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  Cross-functional collaboration and influence

  Cross-functional collaboration and influence

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  Revenue generation and business development

  Revenue generation and business development

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  Process optimization and change management

  Process optimization and change management

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Skills that limit you:

Skills that limit you:

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  Company-specific system expertise

  Company-specific system expertise

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  Industry jargon without broader application

  Industry jargon without broader application

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  Single-function specialization without cross-training

  Single-function specialization without cross-training

A Framework for Moving Forward

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When someone is ready to move beyond the psychological impact, I guide them through four essential steps:

When someone is ready to move beyond the psychological impact, I guide them through four essential steps:

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1. Separate Fact From Fiction

1. Separate Fact From Fiction

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The facts: Your position was eliminated due to restructuring. You received severance. You’re in the job market.

The facts: Your position was eliminated due to restructuring. You received severance. You’re in the job market.

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The fiction: You weren’t valuable enough to keep. You should have seen it coming. You’re damaged goods.

The fiction: You weren’t valuable enough to keep. You should have seen it coming. You’re damaged goods.

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2. Inventory What Remains

2. Inventory What Remains

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A layoff eliminates your role, not your professional assets. Your skills, experience, network, leadership capacity, and track record remain intact. I have clients write lists of what their layoff took away versus what remains. The second list is always longer.

A layoff eliminates your role, not your professional assets. Your skills, experience, network, leadership capacity, and track record remain intact. I have clients write lists of what their layoff took away versus what remains. The second list is always longer.

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3. Define Strategic Non-Negotiables

3. Define Strategic Non-Negotiables

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Focus on adaptability and growth: Will this role build transferable expertise? Does it connect me with valuable relationships? Will it raise my profile for future opportunities? Can I demonstrate measurable business impact?

Focus on adaptability and growth: Will this role build transferable expertise? Does it connect me with valuable relationships? Will it raise my profile for future opportunities? Can I demonstrate measurable business impact?

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4. Plan Strategically, Act Consistently

4. Plan Strategically, Act Consistently

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Pick two to three high-impact activities daily: reaching out to network contacts, researching aligned companies, crafting positioning statements, having strategic conversations. Consistency beats intensity in job searching.

Pick two to three high-impact activities daily: reaching out to network contacts, researching aligned companies, crafting positioning statements, having strategic conversations. Consistency beats intensity in job searching.

The Unexpected Opportunity

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Many of my clients end up in better positions after their layoffs than before. This isn’t because layoffs are “blessings in disguise.” They’re genuinely disruptive. But the forced career pause often leads to important realizations about what they want professionally.

Many of my clients end up in better positions after their layoffs than before. This isn’t because layoffs are “blessings in disguise.” They’re genuinely disruptive. But the forced career pause often leads to important realizations about what they want professionally.

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When employed, it’s easy to stay in roles that are “fine” but not fulfilling. Layoffs force you to actively evaluate what you want next rather than defaulting to what’s comfortable.

When employed, it’s easy to stay in roles that are “fine” but not fulfilling. Layoffs force you to actively evaluate what you want next rather than defaulting to what’s comfortable.

Your Next Chapter

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If you’re dealing with a layoff, let me be clear: You are not broken. You are not behind. You are not being punished.

If you’re dealing with a layoff, let me be clear: You are not broken. You are not behind. You are not being punished.

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What happened was not about you. It was a business decision made in circumstances you couldn’t control, based on factors you weren’t aware of. Your layoff is not a referendum on your professional worth. It’s a transition point, nothing more, nothing less.

What happened was not about you. It was a business decision made in circumstances you couldn’t control, based on factors you weren’t aware of. Your layoff is not a referendum on your professional worth. It’s a transition point, nothing more, nothing less.

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The question isn’t “Why did this happen to me?” The question is “What do I want to happen next?”

The question isn’t “Why did this happen to me?” The question is “What do I want to happen next?”

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While you couldn’t control the decision that led to your layoff, you absolutely control how you respond to it. Your career isn’t over because of a layoff. In many cases, it’s just beginning to align with what you actually want rather than what felt safe.

While you couldn’t control the decision that led to your layoff, you absolutely control how you respond to it. Your career isn’t over because of a layoff. In many cases, it’s just beginning to align with what you actually want rather than what felt safe.

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The title may be gone, but the talent remains. The role may have ended, but the story continues. And you get to write the next chapter.

The title may be gone, but the talent remains. The role may have ended, but the story continues. And you get to write the next chapter.