ATD Blog
The Power of Tone
Tue Oct 23 2018
Content
People may listen to your words, but they react to your tone.
People may listen to your words, but they react to your tone.
Content
When asked in an interview with Oprah Winfrey about the process of becoming Abraham Lincoln, award-winning actor Daniel Day Lewis thoughtfully replied, “The voice is a deep reflection of character, of who we are—the voice is the fingerprint of the soul.” Day Lewis intuitively knew how impactful tone can be. He spent months researching, studying, and eventually taking on the persona of Lincoln after much hard work and soul-searching. If finding a character’s tone and cadence takes a highly skilled actor months of internal inquiry, it stands to reason that one’s own voice comes from the depths of our being; it is nearly impossible to fake.
When asked in an interview with Oprah Winfrey about the process of becoming Abraham Lincoln, award-winning actor Daniel Day Lewis thoughtfully replied, “The voice is a deep reflection of character, of who we are—the voice is the fingerprint of the soul.” Day Lewis intuitively knew how impactful tone can be. He spent months researching, studying, and eventually taking on the persona of Lincoln after much hard work and soul-searching. If finding a character’s tone and cadence takes a highly skilled actor months of internal inquiry, it stands to reason that one’s own voice comes from the depths of our being; it is nearly impossible to fake.
Content
The dictionary defines tone as the modulation of pitch, quality, and strength that adds semantic meaning to a word or phrase. I see tone of voice as the genuine mood or flavor—an underlying essence of a verbal interaction between two or more people. How is your tone of voice conveying your message?
The dictionary defines tone as the modulation of pitch, quality, and strength that adds semantic meaning to a word or phrase. I see tone of voice as the genuine mood or flavor—an underlying essence of a verbal interaction between two or more people. How is your tone of voice conveying your message?
Conversational Tone Versus Content
Content
If you were going to study the effect that a person’s _paralanguage— the nonverbal qualities of speech such as pitch, amplitude, rate, and voice quality, as well as the pauses and hesitations between words —_has on the success of their communication, a call center would be an excellent place to start. And that is exactly where MIT researcher Alex (Sandy) Pentland and many others have done their research.
If you were going to study the effect that a person’s _paralanguage—the nonverbal qualities of speech such as pitch, amplitude, rate, and voice quality, as well as the pauses and hesitations between words—_has on the success of their communication, a call center would be an excellent place to start. And that is exactly where MIT researcher Alex (Sandy) Pentland and many others have done their research.
Content
Studying the how of conversation, rather than the what , Pentland spent many years working with large corporations in Asia and the United States, deciphering what he terms “honest signals,” the often unconscious ways that speech pattern, tone, and body language determine how we perceive what the speaker is saying in a conversation, be it in a business or personal context. Our extralinguistic cues have a complex interaction with our spoken words, regardless of language or culture. In fact, Pentland and his team were able to predict with startling accuracy during speed dating sessions which pairs would exchange contact information, without hearing the content of what they were saying!
Studying the how of conversation, rather than the what, Pentland spent many years working with large corporations in Asia and the United States, deciphering what he terms “honest signals,” the often unconscious ways that speech pattern, tone, and body language determine how we perceive what the speaker is saying in a conversation, be it in a business or personal context. Our extralinguistic cues have a complex interaction with our spoken words, regardless of language or culture. In fact, Pentland and his team were able to predict with startling accuracy during speed dating sessions which pairs would exchange contact information, without hearing the content of what they were saying!
Content
Because we have only about 90 seconds to establish rapport when we first encounter someone, says Nicholas Boothman, keynote speaker and author of How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less, adjusting our conversational speaking tone to match the context is crucial.
Because we have only about 90 seconds to establish rapport when we first encounter someone, says Nicholas Boothman, keynote speaker and author of How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less, adjusting our conversational speaking tone to match the context is crucial.
Content
In his 1971 book, Silent Messages , Albert Mehrabian, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at UCLA and influential researcher in the field of nonverbal communication, says that if there is a mismatch between a speaker’s words and the tone of their voice, most of the time, people will trust what they sense in the tone over the actual words. This means that one’s tone has the power to shut down communication, trust, confidence, agreement, and possibilities.
In his 1971 book, Silent Messages, Albert Mehrabian, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at UCLA and influential researcher in the field of nonverbal communication, says that if there is a mismatch between a speaker’s words and the tone of their voice, most of the time, people will trust what they sense in the tone over the actual words. This means that one’s tone has the power to shut down communication, trust, confidence, agreement, and possibilities.
Content
Reflecting on how many times we engage in meaningful communication each day, be it pitching a project, negotiating a contract, interviewing for a job, training a co-worker, assisting a customer, selling a product, networking for your business, or even asking someone out, if your position depends on a clear interaction, then aligning the nuance of tone in your verbal communication becomes paramount.
Reflecting on how many times we engage in meaningful communication each day, be it pitching a project, negotiating a contract, interviewing for a job, training a co-worker, assisting a customer, selling a product, networking for your business, or even asking someone out, if your position depends on a clear interaction, then aligning the nuance of tone in your verbal communication becomes paramount.
Content
It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.
It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.
Content
We’ve all heard that tired trope since we were in elementary school, but as it turns out, the cliché has more merit than we may have realized. Sincerity, enthusiasm, compassion, attention, concern, warmth, self-confidence, and authority cannot be feigned; your listener will be affected by your tone, whether you or they are aware of it or not.
We’ve all heard that tired trope since we were in elementary school, but as it turns out, the cliché has more merit than we may have realized. Sincerity, enthusiasm, compassion, attention, concern, warmth, self-confidence, and authority cannot be feigned; your listener will be affected by your tone, whether you or they are aware of it or not.
Content
If you are feeling stressed, nervous, resentful, angry, bitter, tired, apathetic, bored, or threatened, these emotions will seep through and negatively impact your inflection and can therefore unintentionally convey a message you don’t want to send. Since most of us attend primarily to the content of our communication at the expense of the nonverbal ways we express our intent, it is in our best interest to begin to bring to consciousness the effect and origins of our inner voice.
If you are feeling stressed, nervous, resentful, angry, bitter, tired, apathetic, bored, or threatened, these emotions will seep through and negatively impact your inflection and can therefore unintentionally convey a message you don’t want to send. Since most of us attend primarily to the content of our communication at the expense of the nonverbal ways we express our intent, it is in our best interest to begin to bring to consciousness the effect and origins of our inner voice.
Content
Get right on the inside, so that your words are right on the outside. Putting yourself in the right attitude ensures your tone will align with your words.
Get right on the inside, so that your words are right on the outside. Putting yourself in the right attitude ensures your tone will align with your words.
Action Steps
Content
Take these steps to align your attitude with your message to ensure an effective tone.
Take these steps to align your attitude with your message to ensure an effective tone.
Content
The next time you find yourself reacting to something someone is saying to you, identify the disconnect between their words and what their tone is actually conveying. Sometimes it’s easier to recognize the dissonance in someone else, and this can be helpful when learning to align your own words and tone.
The next time you find yourself reacting to something someone is saying to you, identify the disconnect between their words and what their tone is actually conveying. Sometimes it’s easier to recognize the dissonance in someone else, and this can be helpful when learning to align your own words and tone.
Content
During an important and challenging conversation, give yourself a few moments to tune in to your inner mindset. Really pay attention to your feelings toward the receiver, your truest thoughts about what you are going to say, and any hidden agenda you may have. Practice the tone of your communication so that it lines up with the intent of your message. This can be more challenging than it sounds!
During an important and challenging conversation, give yourself a few moments to tune in to your inner mindset. Really pay attention to your feelings toward the receiver, your truest thoughts about what you are going to say, and any hidden agenda you may have. Practice the tone of your communication so that it lines up with the intent of your message. This can be more challenging than it sounds!
Content
Body posture and your breathing affect your tone of voice. Do a quick check to optimize the effectiveness of your communication.
Body posture and your breathing affect your tone of voice. Do a quick check to optimize the effectiveness of your communication.
Content
Smile! Your tone is warmer when you smile as you speak.
Smile! Your tone is warmer when you smile as you speak.
Content
Practice speaking at a lower pitch, as it has been shown that deeper voices convey more credibility.
Practice speaking at a lower pitch, as it has been shown that deeper voices convey more credibility.
Content
Use an appropriate amount of hand gestures to help keep your energy up.
Use an appropriate amount of hand gestures to help keep your energy up.
Content
Judith Filek, who writes for the Impact Communications blog, says, “To enhance the tone of your voice, you must master the pause.” Pause for a moment when you want to emphasize a point and keep the listener engaged. Taking a breath is almost like a verbal comma at the end of a clause or a verbal period at the end of a thought.
Judith Filek, who writes for the Impact Communications blog, says, “To enhance the tone of your voice, you must master the pause.” Pause for a moment when you want to emphasize a point and keep the listener engaged. Taking a breath is almost like a verbal comma at the end of a clause or a verbal period at the end of a thought.
Content
To really connect and build rapport in face-to-face conversation, try synchronizing your tone to match that of your conversational partner.
To really connect and build rapport in face-to-face conversation, try synchronizing your tone to match that of your conversational partner.
Content
If your position depends on clear interaction with co-workers or clients, understanding and controlling the nuance of tone in your verbal communication becomes paramount. Start with these tips, and see your ability to connect grow!
If your position depends on clear interaction with co-workers or clients, understanding and controlling the nuance of tone in your verbal communication becomes paramount. Start with these tips, and see your ability to connect grow!