ATD Blog
Why Good People Do Bad Things
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Recognizing these traps is the first step, but awareness alone isn’t enough.
Recognizing these traps is the first step, but awareness alone isn’t enough.
Thu Nov 06 2025
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Recently, we’ve witnessed both horrific political violence and giddy applause for violence from some who likely consider themselves moral and decent, and violent rhetoric in opposition from people who also consider themselves moral and decent.
Recently, we’ve witnessed both horrific political violence and giddy applause for violence from some who likely consider themselves moral and decent, and violent rhetoric in opposition from people who also consider themselves moral and decent.
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And while I take no pleasure in violence, I admit that I am guilty of justifying my own rudeness or disgust. And it turns out the processes that allow me to feel okay about rudeness or disgust are the same processes that enable others to feel okay about more extreme actions.
And while I take no pleasure in violence, I admit that I am guilty of justifying my own rudeness or disgust. And it turns out the processes that allow me to feel okay about rudeness or disgust are the same processes that enable others to feel okay about more extreme actions.
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The renowned psychologist Albert Bandura found that good people (like you and me) use certain mental manipulations to feel justified in doing things that are, at their core, harmful. Sometimes we employ these rationalizations ourselves, and sometimes we are unwittingly manipulated by others toward them. I offer seven common patterns based on Bandura’s brilliant insights for anyone who would like to understand not just what’s going on “out there,” but what might be going on in ourselves too:
The renowned psychologist Albert Bandura found that good people (like you and me) use certain mental manipulations to feel justified in doing things that are, at their core, harmful. Sometimes we employ these rationalizations ourselves, and sometimes we are unwittingly manipulated by others toward them. I offer seven common patterns based on Bandura’s brilliant insights for anyone who would like to understand not just what’s going on “out there,” but what might be going on in ourselves too:
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Moral Justification: Do I frame hostility as moral? “I’m only speaking harshly to stand up for truth!”
Moral Justification: Do I frame hostility as moral? “I’m only speaking harshly to stand up for truth!”
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Euphemistic Labeling : Do I use softening terms to sanitize my actions? “I only shared a couple of memes.”
Euphemistic Labeling: Do I use softening terms to sanitize my actions? “I only shared a couple of memes.”
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Advantageous Comparison: Do I divert attention from myself by pointing to worse offenders? “Sure, my side has made some mistakes, but it’s nothing like what they’ve done.”
Advantageous Comparison: Do I divert attention from myself by pointing to worse offenders? “Sure, my side has made some mistakes, but it’s nothing like what they’ve done.”
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Diffusion of Responsibility : Do I ignore my responsibility—even if it’s minor—in contributing to or supporting negative things that happen? “Just because some who share my views do awful things doesn’t mean I condone them.”
Diffusion of Responsibility: Do I ignore my responsibility—even if it’s minor—in contributing to or supporting negative things that happen? “Just because some who share my views do awful things doesn’t mean I condone them.”
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Distorting Consequences : Do I ignore or minimize the harm caused to others? “It’s not my fault if they can’t take a joke.”
Distorting Consequences: Do I ignore or minimize the harm caused to others? “It’s not my fault if they can’t take a joke.”
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Dehumanization : Do I reduce others to labels? “They’re idiots, losers, or radicals.”
Dehumanization: Do I reduce others to labels? “They’re idiots, losers, or radicals.”
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Attribution of Blame : Do I find ways to blame victims for their own suffering? “They brought it upon themselves with their choices and behavior.”
Attribution of Blame: Do I find ways to blame victims for their own suffering? “They brought it upon themselves with their choices and behavior.”
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Recognizing these traps is the first step, but awareness alone isn’t enough. I’ve suggested for 40 years that our emotions (and related actions) are much less about the world around us and much more about the story we tell ourselves about the world. Here are some practical ways to reframe our stories and lay the groundwork for dialogue.
Recognizing these traps is the first step, but awareness alone isn’t enough. I’ve suggested for 40 years that our emotions (and related actions) are much less about the world around us and much more about the story we tell ourselves about the world. Here are some practical ways to reframe our stories and lay the groundwork for dialogue.
Start With Heart
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Ask yourself: What do I really want for me, others, and the world we both live in? This question helps me dig deeper beyond the shallow satisfaction of one-upping someone to exploring the kind of human I want to be. Do I want to be part of creating a world where emotional and psychological violence are fair game in political disagreements? As I soberly reflect, I find it harder to take pleasure in derision.
Ask yourself: What do I really want for me, others, and the world we both live in? This question helps me dig deeper beyond the shallow satisfaction of one-upping someone to exploring the kind of human I want to be. Do I want to be part of creating a world where emotional and psychological violence are fair game in political disagreements? As I soberly reflect, I find it harder to take pleasure in derision.
Watch Your Language
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If I am more circumspect in how I characterize my actions, and more humane in how I refer to those who differ from me, my emotions soften profoundly. I’m not suggesting soft-pedaling differences; I am simply suggesting dropping the double standard of justifying my own pettiness while villainizing that of others.
If I am more circumspect in how I characterize my actions, and more humane in how I refer to those who differ from me, my emotions soften profoundly. I’m not suggesting soft-pedaling differences; I am simply suggesting dropping the double standard of justifying my own pettiness while villainizing that of others.
Get Curious
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Rather than assuming people hold their views because they are dumb or evil, I try to start from a perspective of “I wonder how the things that have influenced me differ from those that influenced them?” I’ve had some rich conversations with people from markedly different worlds than mine by starting from this place. We rarely ended up agreeing . But for my part, I ended up appreciating .
Rather than assuming people hold their views because they are dumb or evil, I try to start from a perspective of “I wonder how the things that have influenced me differ from those that influenced them?” I’ve had some rich conversations with people from markedly different worlds than mine by starting from this place. We rarely ended up agreeing. But for my part, I ended up appreciating.
Build Common Ground
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Even in fierce disagreement, shared concerns like family, safety, or fairness often exist. Naming them creates a foundation of mutual purpose. Most people with views extremely different from mine are motivated to hold them by desires for safety, fairness, faith, or other values I share.
Even in fierce disagreement, shared concerns like family, safety, or fairness often exist. Naming them creates a foundation of mutual purpose. Most people with views extremely different from mine are motivated to hold them by desires for safety, fairness, faith, or other values I share.
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There has never been a more important time for us to practice awareness of how susceptible we are to adopting the stories fed to us by persuasive voices who thrive on division. Escalating rancor and violence is not evidence of irreconcilable differences. It is evidence of our failure to interrogate and master our stories about one another.
There has never been a more important time for us to practice awareness of how susceptible we are to adopting the stories fed to us by persuasive voices who thrive on division. Escalating rancor and violence is not evidence of irreconcilable differences. It is evidence of our failure to interrogate and master our stories about one another.